Rant on Tescos Fitting Suggestions

I love the idea of selling bras with fitting advice on the back, but not shite like this.

Let me measure as they say. Okay my underbust is 29 SO I'll have to add 5 (why? :S). So that's 34 (oh that's conveniently in their range unlike the 28GG/30G I usually wear). Now for my overbust. In their defence their little model woman drawing is not wearing a bra so I won't wear a super small bra for this measurement (like I usually see with these kind of terrible guides) and go with overbust standing up right now. Okay, 37.5.

34 + 0 = 34 inches = A cup (0 inches?)
34 + 1 = 35 inches  = B cup
34 + 2 = 36 inches = C cup
34 + 3 = 37 inches = D cup
34 + 4 = 38 inches = DD cup

Okay, so I'm a 34D or 34DD. Oh God. God. GOD.

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I used to wear 34DD pre-measuring myself. 34DD is waaaaaay too small.  I've never worn a 34D. I actually 'have' a 34D though. My friend left at my house me when I fitted her to a 30E/F.

Let's have a look.

From top down, Primark or Newlook 34D, Newlook 34DD and Cleo 28GG. An interesting fact about bras is that every time you go up a cupsize, the bra gets 1 inch bigger. Another interesting fact is that 34DD can fit 2 apples not 1. Why is it so big? Because my boobs stretched out the cups. Yes. YES. A 34DD. Yep. I measured to a 34DD that I've since gotten rid of.

If they're doling out this advice to someone who has a 10 inch difference between her underbust and overbust (leaning forward...), which clearly is a lot of boob right there, no wonder the extended sizes are on sale. ¬¬;

For example, my mother, who fits into their range - 34FF (34G in their sizing), would need a 38 band and about a D cup too! No wonder they're on sale, all their potential customers already fit into the 34A - 38DD crap size range everywhere bloody sells!

Secondly, that 0 inches thing though... I don't get that. 0 inches means no boobs. As in the amount of boob is nil. If it's higher than that, say 0.5 to 1, then that's usually an AA cup, and 1 inch is an A cup. Why that's there is that you can say get this problem:

Let's say the two measurements I took were these.

Example 1:

Underbust: 27
Overbust: 32

Okay, I'll add 5 to my measurement. Okay, That's 27 + 5 = 32. Okay, that's 0 difference. An A. Well, actually it makes no bloody sense! Let's try these measurements:

Example 2:

Underbust: 27
Overbust: 31

Okay, I'll add 5 to my measurement. Okay, That's 27 + 5 = 32. Okay...I'm a -A cup... So erm, how does she have boobs if her measurement is less than zero...

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Now those women, the way I measure them, I would get at least 28DD (she could measure higher when leaning forward) and for the second example, 28D.

Go to Tescos, and measure yourself and discover you have minus boobs!